Extrovert Archives - John Knotts

Thinking About the …verts

On Thursdays, I always like to expand my mind by exploring interesting thoughts. Most people know what an Introvert and Extrovert are. Most people think, if you’re an Introvert, you’re shy, and, if you’re an Extrovert, your outgoing.

Studies have shown that is not necessarily true. See, what you’re seeing are behavior traits that someone on the extreme spectrums might exhibit, but not necessarily true of either type. In fact, what has been learned is that what these terms really mean, is where you derive your energy from.

Introverts draw energy from within and being around others and interacting can drain their energy. They often need to go home and relax with a good book, music, or a hobby to recharge.

Extroverts are kind of like energy vampires. Although they don’t bite anyone, they draw their energy from crowds and interaction. Thus, they always seem to be the life of the party.

For years, I would score as an Introvert. I took the personality tests many times over the years and until about 1995 or so, I was an Introvert. Even as a kid I was considered shy.

Can we change?

I started to realize how I acted in group situations. I was the person in the corner of the room that had his arms crossed and a “don’t come near me” look on my face. I probably kept people at bay with my posture and look because I subconsciously knew the interaction drained me. The thing is, I was beginning to not like that in me. I wanted to be more engaged and didn’t really understand why people wouldn’t talk to me like they interacted with others.

I learned one thing…smile!

I know it seems silly, but I stopped being that standoffish guy in the corner with a “don’t you dare” look on his face, and I started smiling. Smiling made all the difference in the world! People approached me! People talked to me!

Today, I test as an Extrovert all the time. And a strong ‘E’ too. However, I’ll tell people I’m just a Closet Introvert. I’m slow to respond in discussion situations (until you get me going). Introverts tend to think about what they’re going to say before they say it, whereas an Extrovert verbalizes their thoughts as they work through them. I can be very Introverted in that manner. Also, I tend to enjoy group interaction, although it can take me a little to build up steam to interact. However, I find it can be relatively draining afterward. This is especially true of teaching and speaking situations. Odd, because I love doing both nowadays!

Lately, the terms Ambivert and Omnivert have started to appear. An Ambivert is someone that exhibits both traits of Introvert and Extrovert — perhaps this might be me? An Omnivert is someone that normally acts one way — introverted or extroverted — but will act in the total opposite manner when in stressful or special situations. That friend that always hangs out and parties as an Extrovert, but then totally disappear as an Introvert when they start dating — they might be an Omnivert.

All of these observations are very interesting.

Do you know what you have tested out as?

Do you agree with your personality result?

Do you exhibit any of the Ambivert or Omnivert traits?

Things that make you go, “hmmm,” on a Thoughtful Thursday!

Engaging anyone

Engagement is the buzzword of the day; employee engagement, leadership engagement, stakeholder engagement…the list goes on.

So, what is the secret to “engagement?” How do you become successful at engaging anyone?

Engage, the root of the word, can essentially be done by someone or done to someone. If you are soliciting someone’s engagement it starts with you and ends with them. So let’s look at what it means to engage someone:

Engage: to occupy, attract, or involve (someone’s interest or attention).

If you want someone’s interest or attention, what is the first and most important thing you have to do? Let’s try communication.

Have you ever gone to a party and stood in the corner or sat in a chair all alone? How many people come up to you to talk to you? You can walk into a room full of people and mentally think to yourself, “Ok people, engage me, I dare you,” but that seldom works.

Yea, perhaps the extremely extroverted might come over to bang you out of your shell, and they might already be wearing the lamp shade for the evening, but in most cases you’ll probably go home disappointed. You’ll consider the party an entire waste of time and probably would think twice about going again.

The number, based on the first stratified random sample by the Myers-Briggs organization in 1998, showed Introverts 50.7% and Extroverts 49.3% of the United States of America.

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/extraversion-or-introversion.asp

If 50% or more of the population–half of the room–isn’t the engaging type, the. It’s up to us to make the first move. Even if you are an introvert.

If you desire engagement, then you probably are going to have to initiate and continue to initiate the conversation. Your leadership staff, your employees, your stakeholders, your audience, your customers, etc. all need to be engaged in conversation constantly to feel engaged. Otherwise they’ll leave your little party possibly vowing never to go back again.

So, engagement of anyone starts with communication. Small talk it is…

That won’t work…it has to be engaging conversation…”How’s the weather Bill,” isn’t going to work!

The rules of engaging conversation are simple:

1. It has to be purposeful–you are communicating for the purpose of engaging the audience.
2. It has to be consistent–one and done or fire and forget styles of communication (very prevalent in our email age) do not work. The message must be the same and repeated often (but not like repeating a phone number three times on a radio ad–that’s annoying)
3. The message must be understood. This means a lot of things. You must communicate clearly and this includes the channel you use. Kids today tend toward text message talk over long conversation. Speak to the differently than they like to receive, the message isn’t as clear. The language and jargon you use is just as important. Talk to your audience in a manner that they understand otherwise you’ll sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. That’s an example of a message that only some of you will get.
4. Mean it. Be sincere when you communicate. Honest and open communication is a key to engagement. If it’s a one way conversation that you’re doing based on some checklist mentality that tells you that you have to communicate at 9 am every morning, then it isn’t real. Yes, you can plan communication, but don’t let your plan dictate when you will communicate.

This is the startup engaging anyone. Also, this is the number one thing that people don’t do. If you’re A boss, make a point to get up from your desk once a week–plan it, don’t let the plan tell you–and talk to people. Encourage open and honest communication in the office and in your staff meetings. Make communication your number one goal for the year for your organization.

It all starts there.